By

Andrew DeMarco

About a week ago I was having a particularly bad day at the office. Clients were cancelling meetings; there were disagreements over methods on how the project should be done and just a generally horrible day. While trying to plow through, a song came on the radio that reminded me of the 8:10 train out of Pelham and an old friend Patrick “Pat” Murphy. Pat was a bear of a man who had a booming voice as well as a laugh that could be heard across any room. He had a love of life and lived every day as if it were a party. He was a talented musician and also had the voice to go with it. Pat was fiercely proud of his Irish heritage, but was also able to joke about it. I remember him telling me that he bought a book of Irish Art, and when he got home he found that all the pages were blank. He was even more proud about being an American. When once asked if he was Irish he replied, “No I am an American whose grandparents and great-grandparents had the good sense to come here.” He wore an American Flag lapel pin even before it had become fashionable.

I met Pat over 30 years ago through a mutual friend, Mike Colello at one of the local watering holes here in Pelham and it was very easy for the two of us to become friends. Back then I was commuting daily into Manhattan along with Pat, Mike and one of Pat’s friends Mary Jo. The four of us would meet every morning for about 15 years on the 8:10 out of Pelham and face another day in the mines. Pat would insist we stand because it would be easier for us to talk to one another and as he said if he sat he would fall asleep and not be in good shape for his day as a bond trader. Since it was only about a 25 minute commute we all agreed and it worked for us. We would talk about anything, what we had planned for the day, our families, politics, religion, sports whatever; you name it we talked about it. What I did find was that by doing this we were at Grand Central Terminal before we knew it and we were all ready for the day. Pat usually amused us so we had a different attitude by the time we arrived.

There was one particular day when I guess we did not have all that much to discuss and the usual morning conversation seemed to lag. This seemed to distract Pat who kept looking up and down the car we were in and just kept mumbling under his breath. When we asked him what was wrong he replied, “Look at these poor bastards, you would think they were all going to the slaughterhouse.” One look up and down that car and we realized that Pat was right. Everyone had a scowl, frown, or just a look of fright on their faces. He looked at us and said that we had to do something about that and that we had to cheer these “poor bastards” up. Mike, Mary Jo and I said, “What do you mean we?”

It was then that Pat made the decision that he would go it alone and that is when the three of us realized that we would be in for something special. We had no idea what that was but knowing Pat he would not let us or all those poor commuters down. He proceeded to walk up and down the aisle urging everyone to wake up and to put a smile on their faces because things could not be that bad. Then he took a harmonica from his jacket pocket and started playing “Rainy Day Women”, and then after a while he began to sing it for everyone. I learned something from Pat that day. I know most of you know this song but I am sure you did not know the real title of it. “Rainy Day Women” is a song by Bob Dylan and the last two lines of each verse end with the refrain, “But I would not feel so all alone,  Everybody must get stoned.”

The next thing we know Pat has the whole car clapping and singing along and everyone was definitely joining in at the refrain. His timing was perfect because when he was done, the train was just entering the tunnel for Grand Central. Pat finally came back to us standing in the doorway and the commuters began to gather their things to detrain. Meanwhile Mike, Mary Jo and myself were hysterical laughing but not surprised at all at what we had just seen, after all this was Pat.

The train finally arrives and Pat is standing in the opposite doorway from where everyone would get off. The three of us still laughing got to see Pat hugged, kissed, high-fived, fist bumped and patted on the back by just about everyone who heard his performance. Everyone was also commenting on how they were looking forward to another bad day, but that Pat’s performance had changed all that. When he finally got off the train he looked at the three of us on the platform and said, “My work here is done now let’s all go and do some real work.” So off we went laughing down the platform and through Grand Central.

So the next time I am having a bad day at the office, I will think of that 8:10 train  from Pelham and that crazy Irishman Pat Murphy and no matter how bad my day is that will all change in an instant. You too should think of this tale and I am sure it will change your day too and give you that feeling on those bad days, that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.

I have included a link to a site where you can hear Bob Dylan performing “Rainy Day Women.”

http://videos.sapo.pt/FFnJs9qYtBaGsckDrtAh

 

 

By
Bob LaTorre

I found this one written by Cousin Bob and I thought it would be appropriate for Labor Day. So enjoy and have a Happy and Safe Labor Day weekend.

 

If one were to ask 100 people the question, “Why do you work?” ninety-five would give some variation of the following answer. “I work to get money to support myself and my family.” How sad!

 While it is true that most of us need to earn the money to support ourselves, isn’t it a pity that so many people have no other reason to work than for money. Studies have shown that wanting to work, is part of every human’s psyche. It is inherent in all of us to want to work. But the danger is that when we work at something we do not like to do, the effort becomes not work but drudgery.

 Since we spend on average the greatest part of our waking hours at “work” wouldn’t it be better if we all worked at what we enjoy doing? Of Course! Than why is it that so many people answer the question regarding work in the way that they do. Shouldn’t the answer be more like… “I work because I love to build houses or I really enjoy selling things to people or delivering gasoline to service stations on time gives me a real kick, or teaching kids to read is fun,, or just think of what a mess this town would be if I didn’t pick up the garbage every week – I am an environmentalist.”

 In other words our reasons for going to work each day should reflect our pleasure at our work, not the financial rewards which come to us. The truth is that if we find something we really like to do and we learn to do it well the rewards will always be great. In addition to the money we will have every day filled with happiness and satisfaction as well.
If we look closely at the foundations of individual liberty and freedom as put forth by the founders of America it is easy to see why they were obsessed with the concept of individual choices.

 Many of the colonials were here to serve out prison sentences; still others came as indentured servants. In either case a large number of early Americans were forced to do work which they hated. In addition many others were apprenticed out at very young ages to learn a trade. Seldom did these boys and girls ever have a choice in the matter.

 One perfect Example is Benjamin Franklin. He was just a boy when he ran away from his home in Boston and come to Philadelphia to find the work he wanted to do instead of the apprenticeship he had been sent into at the age of seven.
It is too bad we do not spend more time studying the human side of the founders, knowing them as people gives us great insight into why they structured the nation as they did.

 What they did was to give us almost unlimited personal freedom. It is that freedom to do what we choose with our lives which has made Americans the richest people in the history of the world. Slaves are the most unproductive labor force in the world. If one is a slave, which can be defined as forced to work against our will at work we which we hate, the quality and quantity of our product will be shabby and small. It does not matter if we do that job as a result of a whip to our backs or because we have enslaved ourselves for money the psychological effect is the same.

 Every day we run into these self-made slaves, we find them as toll collectors, waitresses, bank tellers, service station attendants, and yes even doctors and lawyers. Too many of us are doing work which, if do not outright despise it, we find no joy doing it.

 What a waste, for the individual as well as society. It is especially true now. At this moment these are jobs going begging in almost every area of life. In addition there schools which teach every skill. In many instances if a person cannot afford the cost of school a company will pay a willing worker while they train that person in the new job. Well you say that may be true but the kind of work I want to do isn’t available here!

 Aha..But that is exactly why the founders provided us with another one of our most important freedoms, the freedom to move about. We never have had and I pray to God we never have an internal passport system in this country. This is our guarantee that we can go where we want to, when we want to, to find the work we want to.  If you are not happy with what you are doing, I suggest that you give some thought to finding some work which would make you really happy. Then find out what you need to know to do that work, where those jobs are available and go to that place and begin doing work that will make you happy.

 The rewards will be great for you and those you serve. Why you will even find many more working hours filled with a …. Rosy Glow.

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

While driving through New Rochelle the other day I was passing a church which had a sign out front previewing the upcoming Sunday Sermon by the Reverend DeQuincy Hentz.  The sign read “Just because you were born this way doesn’t mean you have to stay that way.”  As I was stopping at the next traffic light I realized that Lady Gaga was playing on the radio and she was singing her hit “Born this Way.”  This got me thinking that maybe it was an omen that I needed to get my butt back to church, but then I realized that the sign  was in front of a Baptist Church and I am a Catholic so that  couldn’t be it.  But after some thought I knew it was an omen to write this Rosy Glow so here goes.

Since Lady Gaga was part of this omen let’s take a look at her. We all know that she wasn’t born that way at least we hope not. In fact she was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta who attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart on the Upper East Side and briefly NYU.  She was determined to make it as a singer and songwriter and after bouncing around from various clubs and getting nowhere she changed and developed her present persona, that of Lady Gaga. Success did not come to her even though the talent was the same as Stefani, but her determination made her adapt and now she has had two successful albums and her fans are known as her “little monsters.” So she changed and did not stay that way and became successful, and here’s to hoping that she changes again. Maybe people will start recognizing her for her talents and not her persona and she can change back to Stefani and be even more successful.

With the recent passing of Maya Angelou this reminded me of another perfect example of being born one way and changing. Her very name was a reinvention, Angelou was born Marguerite Johnson in St. Louis and raised in Stamps, Arkansas, and San Francisco, moving back and forth between her parents and her grandmother. By 17, she was a single mother. In her early 20s, she danced at a strip joint, ran a brothel, got married, and then divorced. But by her mid-20s, she was performing at the Purple Onion in San Francisco. She would go on to become a Professor at Wake Forrest, and was asked by Presidents Clinton and Bush to perform at ones inauguration and the other at Christmas at the White House. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama. I am sure the Reverend Hentz would have thought her a fine example for his sermon.

I then thought of my grandfathers Giuseppe DeMarco and Lucido Capozzola and their tales. Giuseppe was born in a small town in Calabria Italy called Carolei in the province of Cosenza. He was basically born into a peasant family and later married Rosina Perri and had four children. He was determined to make a better life for his family and as the story goes he made 17 crossings of the Atlantic to build that life.  On one of the crossings he brought his oldest son my Uncle Gaetano on another my father and on his 17^th and final crossing his wife and two daughters.  Although he passed away before I was born I have heard enough family stories about him. He came here learned English and made changes and set about to make that better life. Born one way but did not stay that way.

The same can be said for my Grandfather Capozzola who came from Corleto Montforte married had four children and started his own carting business. He too learned English and became a successful business man. He was not born that way but had a desire to change and make a better life for himself and his children.

Just remember that Stefani Germanotta did not stay that way and has provided us, whether you like it or not a unique persona and music. Maya Angelou did not stay that way and has been an inspiration to many and has given us some of the best poetry of late. Finally, my grandfathers, who did not stay that way and provided me and my family with the ability to live in a country where social mobility and the ability to change and improve are not only possible but encouraged.  

I am sorry I did not get to hear Reverend Hentz’s sermon but it all became clear when I realized what he probably said.  I am sure he would be preaching to not let ones present state effect how he or she will live going forward. Change is good and no matter how bad off we are we do not have to stay that way. We should all strive not to stay that way but change for the better and whether that change is big or small does not matter as long as it is for the better and that should give us all that feeling Cousin Bob and the Reverend Hentz would call that ….. Rosy Glow.

 

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

This past July 4^th our nation celebrated its 238^th birthday while most of the east coast was keeping their eyes on Hurricane Arthur hoping it would not wash out their holiday plans. Since the early part of the day was nasty thanks to Arthur, I looked at the various news networks to get their take on this birthday celebration. One thing that was mentioned on most of the networks was that during this year there are two significant milestones that our country will celebrate.

The first occurred 200 years ago in 1814 as a 35 year old lawyer and amateur poet wrote a poem on the back of an old letter entitled “Defense of Fort McHenry”, after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor during the War of 1812. That lawyer was Francis Scott Key and that poem was later set to music. Ironically the music was from a song “The Anacreontic Song” which was written for a British men’s social club and later became known as “The Star-Spangled Banner.”  It wasn’t until 1931 some 117 years later, through an act of Congress and President Herbert Hoover’s signature that it became our National Anthem.

While we are all familiar with the National Anthem, what many do not know is that Key’s poem consists of four stanzas or in the case of the song verses. Each verse ended with, “o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.” But it is in the final verse that most historians agree that one of our nations mottos is first used “In God is Our Trust” which became “In God We Trust.”  To see all of the lyrics click on the link below.

http://www.usa-flag-site.org/song-lyrics/star-spangled-banner.shtml

The second milestone which all of the news channels seemed to be mentioning was the 75^th anniversary of Lou Gehrig’s Luckiest man speech in front of a sold out crowd at Yankee Stadium and which has been called “baseball’s Gettysburg Address” for its brevity and yet a speech which is long remembered.

Henry Louis Gehrig was born in the Yorkville section of Manhattan, and his parents Heinrich and Christina were German immigrants. Lou was the only one of their four children that survived into adulthood, albeit only to the age of 38 just a few weeks shy of his 39^th birthday. He died from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), which is now called Lou Gehrig’s disease.  He was pushed by his mother to get an education but due to his athletic ability the Yankees came calling and rest is as they say history.

I admit that I did learn a few things doing my research and from these shows. I knew there where additional verses to the National Anthem but not how many and I did not know about “In God is Our Trust.”  I also learned that Lou Gehrig had three siblings. So with my history lesson complete thanks to the news networks, I watched as they interviewed various people on what the United States and the 238^th birthday meant to them. From actors to athletes to the average Joe on the street the answers were always pretty much the same. Most replied that liberty, freedom and the ability to not be limited in your goals and aspirations were what made the United States what it is. Others spoke of the greatness of the country as a leader of the world and one that other countries should strive to be like.

What I found amazing was how glowingly and rosy everyone spoke about this country, and how these same people might have a different opinion if it were not the 4^th of July. Why do we show our patriotism only on holidays? If this country is as great as they were all saying shouldn’t we be proud every day? I know at times we can all become frustrated with the workings of our government, but what we should all realize is that there is no other country like ours on this planet.

So next time any of us are tempted to put down this great nation that we live in maybe we should just take a moment and step back and give it some additional thought. Maybe we should think how Francis Scott Key felt when he saw that flag still flying over Ft. McHenry after an all-night battle and how it inspired him to write what would become our National Anthem. Or maybe what Lou Gehrig actually was thinking when he said he was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Maybe he was thinking that in addition to all the love and adulation those fans were showing him, that maybe he was lucky for being born in this country. A country that allowed him to follow his dreams, contrary to his mother’s wishes, and how we should follow our dreams and be proud Americans every day and that should fill us all with that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that …… Rosy Glow.

 

 

By

Bob LaTorre

N.B. another classic by Cousin Bob from 25 years ago.

 

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I am tired of being yelled at all the time. If we listen to the radio watch television, or even go to the movies it seems to me that I am constantly being screamed at by everyone from news people, sports announcers and commercials to the characters in the “entertainment” shows. No one believes that they can get my attention unless the volume is raised to where it shatters our peace of mind right along with our ear drums.

I suspect that one reason for all of this yelling and screaming is that the people who write this stuff, for unbelievable salaries I might add, simply have no talent.

What amazes me is that I suffer from about a thirty percent hearing loss. I often ask myself what it would be like if I had full hearing.

Even if the volume is not raised to ear shattering levels, the tome of this cacophony is often just as nerve wracking. Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”, sang … why can’t the English teach their children to speak properly? I find myself mumbling…why can’t Americans make the media quiet down?

If the objective of all this is to insure that I am hearing the message, I have news for all of these people. Whenever anything begins with a shout, whistle bell bang or even a loud voice, I simply reach over and turn off the radio or the TV. My humble opinion is that the greatest addition to the television since its invention is the mute button.

Is there a solution to all of this? I think there is. The other day I tuned in to some late afternoon TV. Luck was with me, instead of a soap opera, (with the cast of shouting, screaming, maniacs who are unable to speak even words like “ I love you” except at the top of their lungs, I caught a Mister Rogers show.

What a welcome change and what a profound lesson it was to see this gentle soft spoken man. The change was welcome because I found myself listening carefully to his quiet voice. It required my complete attention to hear and know what he was saying. The important lesson was that this man’s program was aimed at children ages 3 to 6. Psychologists tell us that the attention span for children is approximately five minutes plus their age. That means that the typical audience for Mister Rogers has an attention span from eight to twelve minutes and yet I have seen this man hold young children absolutely captivated for thirty minutes. In that time he not only entertains them he educates them at the same time.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could select from time to time programs like Mister Roger’s Neighborhood for adults?

Just picture coming home from a long day at work, having been caught in traffic jam and car problems. The day’s mail holds nothing but bills and there is some sickness in the family. Now you settle down in front of the TV, push the button and it’s time for the news. Instead of a pair of new hucksters with fancy hair dos, on the screen comes a Mister Rogers type, he begins… “While we have a number of breaking stories which I know you want to hear about, let’s begin our report with some good news. The price of fuel oil has leveled off and is expected to begin to fall soon. The bumper crop in vegetables should mean lower prices.

Now from Cape Canaveral are the latest pictures of the successful shuttle launch and so it would go in quiet gentle speech a nice blend of both good and bad news.

I think it would slow down our metabolism, lower our stress rate and perhaps even put us in the mood for a nice quiet dinner. The Mister Rogers Adult Show could inform us of the latest new inventions and how they work. He could give us tips on better living and even some not-so-dramatic movie and book reviews.

I am a dreamer but I am also a realist. I am afraid that we will continue to see most of our TV programming in the vein of “Sesame Street.” There is nothing wrong with that program but it is not the only way to inform, entertain teach and sell. The market place need not only be a contemporary version of an ancient Middle Eastern town square. There is room for a more civilized way of reaching us. Someday perhaps we will see adult programming in a quieter vein. Perhaps we will call the show a visit to the home of Mr. ……. Rosy Glow.