Rosy Glow – Life’s Direction

By

Robert La Torre

Many years ago I asked a friend advice about what direction I should take in life. My problem was that I really enjoyed things in life that cost a lot of money, but the things I enjoyed doing most did not pay very well.

“How should I resolve this conflict,” I asked?

His answer was simple: “Do the things which you like to do. There will always be enough money for the things you really want.”

At the time the advice seemed to simplistic. Today, all these years later, it makes more sense that any advice I have ever received. That’s why I share it so often with as many young people as I can.

The principle behind my friend’s philosophy is simple. If you are working at something you like, it makes you very happy. That means that each day is filled with the pleasure that you enjoy. The result is that you look for very few things that your means do not provide for. There is usually not enough money for all the things you would like, but at the same time your reach for much less. The reason you look for less is that your life is fulfilled each day with the work you do. If your employment does not seem to be enough, there are thousands of part-time things to do. Some of these may pay a little extra and some may be volunteer work. In any case you become even more fulfilled.

If, on the other hand, you select to do a job you do not really like, you may create a trap for yourself that will bring nothing but unhappiness. This is how it happens. Doing work you do not like or even hate brings about a lot of frustration. To ease that frustration you begin to buy things that appear to ease the frustration. If you hate your job you may buy a big house. The house becomes your substitute for satisfaction in your job. But supporting the house requires even more money, which forces you to work harder and longer at something you do not enjoy. What is more certain, resentment grow towards your work because you need to do it to support the house and it becomes a “catch 22.”

I have observed men and women caught in this trap all of my life. For a time I was in it myself. There are a number of signs that someone is in the trap.

One of them is that they are obsessed with the cost of things. Every conversation about anything begins with “I paid X dollars for that.” The second is that the things dominate their lives. People in the trap seldom talk about ideas. They most often speak of things. Asked about a trip they will discuss how much it cost and what accommodations they had, seldom about what they saw or how much they enjoyed the visit or even the people they met.

Another clue to people in the trap is the way they speak about their work. Seldom will they speak of accomplishments, except for how much more money it made them.

People in the trap, especially as they grow older, talk about retirement-how long till they retire, what their pension will be, and how they hope for the years to go by.

Some years ago I made the decision to get out of the trap. I decided that I would do things I enjoy doing. I would put money way down the list of priorities. One by one I found several jobs, none of which paid a lot of money. Even though the income came nowhere near what I had been making in the trap.

This is what I found. I seldom speak of money, at least my money.  I almost never discuss what I paid for anything. I have few desires for things in general. I often think that I own too many things.

I love to talk about my work and the joy and satisfaction I get from teaching or writing or making movies. I am proud of all the plaques and certificates that nearly fill my wall, most of them earned for volunteer efforts. I find my days filled with satisfaction.

The satisfaction in what I am doing reduces my desire to own things. I have a car, a modest one: I have a boat, a small one: I have a wonderful home, a comfortable one. I take my life one day at a time. I do not rush it. I enjoy each season. I take time to observe and enjoy my relationship with all of the people around me – my family, my friends, and the strangers I meet.

Are there things I would like to do? I would like to travel more and I am convinced that I will in time.

Do I want to retire? If I did I would have to stop doing all these things that I enjoy.

Most of all I have found that the things I want are pretty much within my reach. Most important of all, most of my days end with the feeling of being tired and happy. In addition I find that my days begin with a feeling that I have come to call ….a rosy glow.