By Andrew DeMarco

Recently, my cousin Louis Fata passed away and I would like to tell everyone a bit about him. Louis was what I would affectionately call a character and a good one. He led, what many would call, a roller coaster life filled with more ups and downs than most people could handle, but Louis did.

Louis settled down and married a beautiful woman named Carol and had a son Louis Jr. He was leading the life most people would envy but Louis like all of us was not perfect. He let some of his weaknesses and demons come out and get the best of him. It cost him his marriage and I must admit I lost touch with him during this dark period. I will always wonder if I could have helped him during his dark days. But Louis being who he was overcame his demons and got his life back on track. He found himself again, started a new career and became a store manager at Caldor’s. Putting his past behind him, he was back to being the Louis which I remembered.

Because of this strength Louis was a hero not only to me but was also a real-life hero, not just once but on two separate occasions. The first was while he was in High School when he witnessed an older woman being mugged. Louis proceeded to chase her attacker through the snow and according to him losing his shoes in the pursuit. He caught the attacker who was arrested and for this act he received a Citation from the NYPD. The second time happened after his comeback which I previously mentioned. While working at a Caldor’s in Queens, a group came in after closing to rob the store of the day’s proceeds. When one of the thieves tried to sexually assault one of the female employees, Louis stepped in and was beaten to within an inch of death by these cowards. He had to learn how to walk again, and his motor skills would never be the same and for the rest of his life lived in constant pain. Through all of this he managed to keep his spirits up and still strove to live life to the fullest or as he would say “La Dolce Vita”

The key to Louis’ life and probably the source of his strength besides his family were his lifelong friendships, which was very much apparent at his memorial. We all know the old saying you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. Louis got stuck with me because I am family, but he chose very wisely as far as friends were concerned. At his memorial, there were a lot of friends even some who I remembered from our childhood days together. There was Danny Caruso, Eddie and Andy Polchinski, Marty Capuano, Steve Mioto and Bob and Dave Santini and many many more. These were friends from his old neighborhood and some going back to his Grammar School days. I learned that they were with him during his crazy days and during his tough times. I found this amazing since I can think of only about 2 of my childhood friends that I am still in touch with. This brings me to the best unspoken line in any movie it happens when Clarence the Guardian Angel leaves a copy of Tom Sawyer for George Bailey with the inscription, “No man is a failure who has friends”. Louis fit this bill by overcoming all his trials and tribulations due to his own strength and with the help of all his friends, he was far from a failure he was a wonderful success.

As I mentioned earlier, Louis was family so he got stuck with me and I with him. I can only hope he would have chosen me as well as he chose his friends if he had to. I know that I had it better than his friends, because he was family and I would not have changed that for anything. I also know that whenever I think of Louis, which will be often, since I do have a lot of great memories of him, it will give me the feeling that Cousin Bob would call that….Rosy Glow!

By

Andrew DeMarco

As we get ready to celebrate Memorial Day, we all know it is a day in which we honor all the men and women who have given their lives for this great country. This year I realized that all of them are a part of our history whether they are known to us or not. From the American Revolution to the Afghan War, these brave individuals gave their lives in anonymity known only to their family and friends. This got me thinking about our present cancel culture / revisionist history movements.

Today these revisionists look to remove the names of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and others from our history, men who established the principles of this great country. While our Founders, Signers and Framers were far from perfect, the same can probably be said of many of those who died defending the principles which our Founders established.  Should we do the same for these brave individuals and remove them from our history? Should we paint over the more than 58,000 names on the Vietnam Memorial or cover the 1,177 names of the men lost on the Arizona which over 900 of them are still entombed on that ship? Or do we take it a step further and topple every headstone of those who gave their lives and lie in Arlington and other National Cemeteries around the country as well as the Normandy American Cemetery just to appease those who don’t understand what this country is all about? I think not!

This Memorial Day we should look to President Lincoln’s final few sentences of the most famous 271 words ever delivered:

–that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

It is said that this Nation is the “Home of the Free because of the Brave.” I believe it is time that we the Free, step up and become the Brave and make sure that our heroes have not died in vain. With a new devotion, we all should pledge ourselves to a new birth of Freedom and make sure to educate everyone as to why this country shall not and will not perish from the earth. If we do this it will give us all that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow!

By

Andrew DeMarco

February is Black History Month and this year I thought I would tell the story of Nathan Green whose story was lost in time according to a site dedicated to him. I first learned about Mr. Green when out to lunch with the Romeos (Retired Old Men Eating Out). One of the Romeos, Bob McCaffrey asked the bartender if he had Uncle Nearest whiskey. Unfortunately, they did not and I asked Bob about the whiskey. He told me it was a bourbon / Tennessee Whiskey and this immediately piqued my interest since I do enjoy a good glass of both now and then. I have tried many high-end bourbons and I had to admit I had never heard of Uncle Nearest. Bob proceeded to give me a brief history and again my interest was piqued and I made sure to learn more. Uncle Nearest’s story is remarkable and I have no doubt truly one of the most forgotten.

Nathan “Nearest” Green was born in Maryland in 1820 and it is not clear if he was born into slavery or later became a slave. It was sometime later that he began to work on a farm owned by a country preacher and distiller in Lincoln County Tennessee. Nathan became an able distiller and was adept at a process called sugar maple charcoal filtering which gave the whiskey a unique smoothness. At this time, on the preacher’s farm was a young “white chore boy” who worked on the farm and did any chore that needed to be done. While doing his work, he noticed that there was always smoke coming from the hollow on the property and a lot of activity going on in that area but was not allowed to go into that area. Finally, after some time, the preacher brought the young boy into the hollow and introduced the young boy to Nathan as Uncle Nearest.  The preacher then asked Uncle Nearest to teach the young boy everything that he knew about distilling. Uncle Nearest took the young boy under his wing and did as the preacher asked.

Over time, the young white chore boy started his own whiskey distilling business and moved from the property taking his business with him. He asked Uncle Nearest to join him but at this point, Uncle Nearest because of his knowledge and talent had become one of the wealthiest men in the area and had retired and did not go to the new distillery. Nearest’s sons Lewis, Eli and George all continued the tradition of making whiskey and went to work with the young man. Nearest’s grandsons, Charlie and Ott also went to work for the new distillery. That young white boy, who became a brilliant businessman, went on to be known as one of the most famous whiskey makers in the world; his legal name was Jasper Newton, many called him Uncle Jack but the rest of the world knows him as Jack Daniel. That’s right the same Jack Daniel whose whiskey many now enjoy.

Due to recent interest in Uncle Nearest’s story a foundation has been established to keep his story alive and they purchased the land he first established his distillery on and are now in the process of building a new one. The new distillery will continue the traditions of Uncle Nearest’s whiskey making as well as educate new distillers in their craft. Here are two quotes from one of the foundation’s founders that are very fitting:

“Here was this incredible story of a slave who was the first African-American master distiller on record in the United States, who taught one of the world’s most recognizable men and then following slavery became the first master distiller for what is now one of the top whiskey brands in the world,”

“Nearest Green’s triumph over his original circumstances was remarkable and his journey from slavery to one of the wealthiest African-Americans in the area was as much about his spirit of forgiveness and grace as it was about his legacy of excellence.”

So, as we celebrate Black History Month, I lift a glass of Uncle Nearest’s fine whiskey and toast his many accomplishments. I have no doubt that his whiskey will give me that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.

N.B.

To learn more about Uncle Nearest click on the link below.

https://nearestgreen.org/

By

Andrew DeMarco

In this crazy year of 2020, with Thanksgiving behind us we all can look forward to the Christmas Holiday season and hopefully a better new year in 2021, or can we? Will we be able to celebrate with all our loved ones and family and friends as we usually do or will the threat of more lockdowns due to the Corona virus prevent us from celebrating as we have become accustomed to? Regardless, we all will find a way to celebrate and make the most of it.

One thing I have noticed is that one question comes up quite a lot this time of year and depending on your age the answers vary greatly. That question is, “What do you want for Christmas?”  When I was a child my imagination would run wild and my wants were many but somehow my parents always found a way to get me at least some of the many things that I wanted. At that time, I don’t remember if I realized how grateful I should have been, but I do remember I was happy with what I got. Over time I started to want less because I probably had more. I am sure and hope the same is true with kids today. As expected, as I have gotten older, the answer to that question has changed, the answer is usually, “I don’t know, I really don’t need anything,”

After giving it some thought I really don’t need anything. I have a great family and good friends; my health is good although as we get older we all begin to have some health issues and probably would ask for better health. I have found that I do not want or need material things as much as I used to and my wants have become more hopes and desires.  The things I would like is to see my family (cousins and their children and grandchildren) a bit more often but I understand that as the family becomes more extended that becomes more difficult. My friends have become like family and I do know that all of them including my family are always there when and if I need them. I do hope that it stays that way. Finally, the one thing I am sure we all probably wish for is health and happiness.   

My Uncle Bob always says that as he has gotten older his needs are fewer and his wants are less and I can see this happening to me. He also reminded me of the old saying “The less you want the more you have and the more you want the less you have” and I fit into the former.

Then it hit me. This Christmas in spite of all the insanity going on around us, I will have received the best Christmas gift that anyone could imagine. Besides the gift of family and friends, I will have the gift of nothing. That’s right nothing. Just the simple gift of being free from want or need. Although we are not by any means wealthy, this sense of not needing much has led me and my wife to a more important gift. The gift of giving. This year in addition to donating to our usual charities, my wife and I have made a few additional ones. One was to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital and the other was simple, we donated a few turkeys to a local soup kitchen with the hope that someone will enjoy a Christmas Dinner. These contributions were not much but it put us into the Christmas spirit which this year will be a bit more difficult to do. So here is to wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and may you all be blessed with the gift of not needing or wanting and the realization of how much we all really have. I am sure this will give you the feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

Happy and Healthy New Year!

By

Andrew DeMarco

This crazy year of 2020 should be a time where we really take stock of what we truly should be thankful for. In the Food Section of the New York Times on November 18^th there was an article on how Native Americans look at and celebrate Thanksgiving. There is no doubt that they have a vastly different picture of Thanksgiving than most Americans do and rightfully so. The picture of the Pilgrims and Native Americans getting along where everything was just something out of the Garden of Eden is very different from their view of this holiday. We pretty much all know today that this was not the case and can understand how they feel about these interlopers taking their land and ruining their traditions.

No matter what your take is on Thanksgiving, we should not overlook the real meaning of the holiday and that is to give thanks and show gratitude for what we have today. Although we should never forget history, we should not dwell on the past when it comes to giving thanks today. It is not about who ate what at the first Thanksgiving or even who attended, it is about being grateful.

This brought to mind a friend of mine Steven Crutchfield who has undertaken a 30 Day Gratitude Challenge. Each day Steven sends an email and mentions something that we should be grateful for. On the first day he asked us to think of a simple item for example a key chain, coffee mug or favorite pen. In my case it worked. I have two key chains, one given to me by my wife when we first met and another given to me by my niece that says #1 Uncle. I also have 3 coffee mugs that I use and alternate from week to week.  One from my mother and again the other two from my wife and niece, three women I am grateful that are and were in my life. On other days Steven asks which teachers, co-workers and neighborhood shop owners can we be grateful for. As the Challenge continues, Steven even brings up things like smells and aromas, sounds such as music, the purring of a cat, family traditions and daily routines all of which when you think of it, we should be thankful and grateful for. It is up to the individual to think of that item or person and let it sink in on what they really mean.

This challenge really got me thinking that it is the simple things and people in our lives that we may take for granted and that we should all take a step back and give it all some serious thought. This reminded me of the Advent Calendar which we had when I was young.

Maybe we should start small and create a 30 day Gratitude Calendar, using Steven’s daily suggestions, for the month of November leading up to Thanksgiving which would extend that holiday more than the 4 days we celebrate it now, after all there should be no time limit on giving thanks and showing gratitude. It would make a perfect positive lead into the Christmas and Holiday Season especially in this irrational year. Hopefully, it can turn into a 365 day Gratitude Calendar which I am sure would give us all that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!