By

Andrew DeMarco

 

There is an old saying that I am not really sure how it goes but the gist is this. You never know what it is like to experience a tragedy or heart break until it happens to you or someone you know. I learned this lesson a few weeks back when I heard that a friend of mine and his family went through a tough time. I call Gary my friend even though I don’t see him that often. I have known Gary for over 15 years and although we don’t travel in the same circles, whenever I do see him it feels like he is someone I’ve known a lot longer. I heard that Gary’s only son passed away just before last Christmas and I offered my condolences. I later learned that his son had died as the result of a drug overdose.

I spoke with Gary after I learned this and he felt the way most parents would namely the he should have done more to prevent it. He saw some of the signs but never really put them all together. I am sure he heard from countless others telling him that he did all he could do so there was no need for me to tell him the same, so I left it at that.  I learned that his son was a victim of the opioid abuse epidemic. An epidemic which reaches new levels every day and our politicians talk the talk but don’t do much about this issue.

I just cannot imagine what he has gone through, but I feel his pain and I know how difficult this had to be for him. This may sound weird, but I felt honored that he was able to be so honest with me and it was evident in the way he spoke with me.

Gary did his grieving but once that was over he became a man on a mission. He showed me a letter he had written where he made his feelings known and it is posted below. He then told me that when he has time he would print some up and randomly go to mall parking lots and leave them on car windshields hoping to get the attention of the public and make them aware of a national epidemic.

You might be asking., “how can you possibly make a Rosy Glow moment out of this tragedy?”  Well let me tell you it is a lot easier than you think. Take this Rosy Glow and pass it on to just one of your friends. More importantly take the letter and pass it on to your Representatives in Washington and here in New York or whatever state you may live in. It will give you a sense of accomplishment and hopefully wake up all these deadwood politicians which we have today and give you that feeling which Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow!

I know it did for me!

By

Andrew DeMarco

A few weeks ago, my cousins Mike and Christine moved from their house of the past 42 years where they were fixtures in the town.  Mike worked in the school system there first as a teacher and then later as an administrator. In addition, he also served on the Village Board while Chris worked as a travel agent in the town. Needless to say, they both were well-known sort of like Norm on “Cheers” where everybody knows them as well as their house on Melbourne Ave.  To call it a house is a misnomer because a house is just a shell, with walls and rooms, cold and uninviting. What Mike and Chris had was a home, a place full of life, love and above all great memories. It didn’t matter what the occasion was, a Christening, Communion, Confirmation, Birthday Party or just a way to get the family together you always had a good time and it always included the neighborhood. To Mike and Chris, the neighbors were an extension of the family.

I have many memories of Melbourne Ave., but I want to mention two. Mike was always the “Lord of the Manor” which is meant in a good way while Christine was the glue which held it together. My first crazy memory was some time ago when I decided to introduce my girlfriend at the time, Marie, to Mike and Chris. We just showed up unannounced, because you never needed an invitation and the doors were always open. We arrived and we found them in back yard. Mike relaxing in a big lawn chair while Chris was busy putting down a brick patio. That’s right you are reading this correctly. Chris tidied herself up while Mike made sure we had something to drink. We spent some time with them and when we left I remember Marie saying to me, “Did I just see that?” I had no idea what she was talking about because to me that was normal. Chris would later add a Koi Pond to that patio and rumor had it that Bob Villa was going to award her “The Golden Tool Belt Award.”

Another memory I have was when I was asked to help Chris and a friend Rich put up a swing set for their granddaughter Teddy. Once again, Mike was watching as Chris, Rich and I wielded hammers and nails and put up the set. Mike was concerned if we would be done by lunch time since he had to order the sandwiches. I would like to add that Chris was not just the glue, she was the brick, mortar, nails and hammers that held it together. Their roles always worked for them so why question it. They are the perfect pair and it is because of this they were able to make that house a home.

But back to the real part of this story. On the day that Mike and Chris were leaving their home their other family, their neighbors decided to do something for them. This reminded me of that gentleman from Bedford Falls, Mr. George Bailey. George was well known in his hometown too and he received a gift from a friend. This gift was a book with an inscription which read, “No man is a failure who has friends.”  Allow me to paraphrase and say no couple is a failure and the picture below is a testament to the success of Mike and Chris. A few people showed up to wish them well and planted a tree in their honor with a plaque thanking them for 42 years of love and friendship which proves that they just aren’t a hit they are a grand slam home run!  So, move over George Bailey!

When I look at this picture and think of that home on Melbourne Ave. with all the memories it gives me and I am sure Mike and Chris that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow!

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

Last week, we commemorated the 75^th anniversary of the D-Day landings in Normandy when young men opened the second front and brought about the beginning of the end of World War II. For the United States Military, specifically June 6, 1944 was the bloodiest single day loss of life. This battle and others as well as the sacrifices made by all has led to World War II veterans to be referred to as “The Greatest Generation,” a term made popular in a book of the same name by the journalist Tom Brokaw. Now I mean no disrespect to those who served in World War II, after all my father and most of my uncles served in that war and are members of that great generation but I feel Mr. Brokaw is selling other generations short. So please allow me to explain.

This country will soon celebrate its’ 243^rd birthday and looking back one might say that those young men who fought in the American Revolution fought for a cause they believed in to be free of tyranny. They fought at places like Lexington and Concord, Bunker Hill, Trenton, Brandywine and numerous other “skirmishes” and suffered through a brutal winter at Valley Forge. These young men got the ball rolling for this great experiment which became the United States and without them and the help of France, there might not have been a greatest generation. Let’s call them the first of Great Generations!

The next group are those who fought in the Civil War, whether on the side of the Union or the Confederacy they were young men who fought again for causes they truly believed were just. They fought in battles which resulted in some of the bloodiest days in our history. The Battle of Antietam was the largest single – day loss of American lives in our history when over 3,600 Union and Confederate soldiers were killed. This was topped by the 3-day Battle of Gettysburg where over 6,000 American lives were lost. This was all to preserve the union which if they had not, would have made this a very different country. Might we look at them yet as another of our Great Generations!

Still others to consider are the Doughboys of World War I who went “over there” to fight what they felt would be the “War to End all Wars.” Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and these men made the sacrifice for what they thought would save the world and became the next of the Great Generations. This led to Mr. Brokaw’s greatest generation to those who fought in World War II. But if not for the success of all the previous great generations from the Revolutionary War on down, we might not have been there to help our old ally France and there would not have been a Greatest Generation.

Even after that we had those who fought in the Police Action that was the Korean War and those who fought in what was probably one of the most dividing conflicts in our history the Viet Nam War. Aren’t all those who served in those actions members of other great generations?

So, who is to say which is the Greatest Generation, as I now realize that this country is made up of a succession of Great Generations. It also got me thinking that what makes this country great are these great generations and the less than 1% who have served, are serving and will serve this country in the future they are all members of Great Generations. Knowing this gives me that feeling that Cousin Bob would call a …..Rosy Glow!

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

Last week, just before Memorial Day a friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of his Cousin Michael, proudly dressed in his Marine uniform, who lost his life in Viet Nam. Semper Fi Michael.

This is the true meaning of Memorial Day honoring those who lost their lives in war for this country. In the past few months, my family has lost two men who served their country and although they did not make the ultimate sacrifice they made sacrifices non-the less and I would like to remember them belatedly this Memorial Day.

The first family member is Richard Prestera, Lt. Colonel U.S.M.C. retired who passed away in April of this year. Richard was born in the Bronx and later attended the University of Alabama where he entered the R.O.T.C. program and upon graduation was commissioned a 2^nd Lieutenant. He married his college sweetheart and a short time later was shipped out to Viet Nam. Richard did two tours in Viet Nam and upon his return made a career in the Corps. He later would have a very successful career at IBM. The last time I saw Cousin Rich was at a family wedding where we reminisced about a visit when I was young my family made to him and his family at Quantico when he returned home from one of his tours. I am not sure which one, but he was a Captain at that point. He also mentioned that other than the birth of his children and grandchildren his time in the Corps was great and if he had too he would do it all over again including Viet Nam. He told Cousin Marian before passing away that his group of Viet Nam buddies who met once a year was down to three, sadly now it is two.   Semper Fi Rich.

The second member who passed away just before the Memorial Day weekend was Joseph Mariniello, Colonel U.S. Army Reserve retired who was born in Newark, N.J. Cousin Joe took almost a similar path as Rich but with a twist. Joe was attending Seton Hall University when he was drafted and had contemplated fleeing to Canada to avoid Viet Nam but thought otherwise and went into the Army. Once there, he was enrolled in the Army Officer Candidate School and was later commissioned as a 2^nd Lieutenant. He was later sent off to the one place he wanted to avoid and did one tour there, Viet Nam. He then resigned his commission from the Army and accepted one with the Army Reserve. He served until the first Gulf War and retired as a Colonel; this seems very strange from someone who wanted to initially avoid the service at any cost. While fulfilling his reserve duties, Joe had a successful career as a pharmaceutical sales rep. The last time I spoke with Joe at any length was two years ago at my mother’s wake where he had just returned from his second visit back to Viet Nam. Unlike most Viet Nam vets, he seemed not to mind discussing his time there. Sadly, Joe died from Parkinson’s disease, PTSD and the beginnings of dementia which was believed to be brought on by exposure to agent orange.

Three men, three different paths in service to their country, all making sacrifices with one making the ultimate sacrifice. Two making lives for themselves after experiencing the darkness of war with one never having that opportunity. These three men and their stories will give Memorial Day to me now and in the future a different and special meaning one that Cousin Bob would call that…Rosy Glow.

 

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

Recently, both the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Flyers have decided to no longer play the Kate Smith version of “God Bless America.”  The Flyers even went so far as to cover and later remove a statue which they had dedicated to her some years ago outside their arena. Their reasoning is that Ms. Smith sang and recorded some songs over 80 years ago which today and even back then can be considered racist. One song from 1933 titled “Pickaninny Heaven,” asks colored children living in an orphanage to dream about a magical place of great big watermelons. The other song, “That’s Why Darkies Were Born,” adds a bit of a twist to the story since that song was also covered by African-American singer and activist of that time Paul Robeson which was often omitted in this story and is a lesson in of itself.

I’m not here to argue whether Ms. Smith and Mr. Robeson are racist. I’m here to discuss how both teams missed a teachable moment and how far political correctness has gone in dividing this country. I would like to know how this issue can arise with someone who has been dead for over 30 years and cannot defend their intentions? Instead, we should look at that time and see how we have progressed from the 1930’s regarding these issues. This is where we learn from it but no one seems to take the time to discuss this aspect and maybe even find ways to improve even more.

This issue also reminded me of people wanting to bring down monuments which they find offensive instead of learning from them and history. It reminded me of Monument Avenue in Richmond, Virginia. For those of you who are not familiar with Monument Ave. it is a beautiful tree lined road with an esplanade running down the middle. What makes this road unique are the six monuments which occupy the esplanade at various points along the avenue. Five of these monuments are dedicated to heroes of the Confederacy, after all Richmond was the capital of the Confederacy, and nowadays it is a miracle they are still standing. Most of the monuments  are people you would know beginning at the east end and going west they are dedicated to General J.E.B. Stuart, General Robert E. Lee, President Jefferson Davis, General Stonewall Jackson and Matthew Fontaine Maury. All sons of the South and the Confederacy and by today’s standards would all be considered traitors and are all symbols of slavery and racism even though at their time, which I am sorry to say was considered the norm. So, you may be asking, “So where is this teachable moment?”

That moment lies in the sixth and final monument and the one that is the newest. It is not dedicated to a hero of the Confederacy but he is a Son of the South, a Richmond native and unlike the other five, he was a winner, a true champion and unlike the others he is an African-American. That monument is dedicated to Arthur Ashe.

Arthur Ashe was the winner at Wimbledon, the U.S. Open, the Australian Open and at one time the #1 ranked tennis player in the world. The same Arthur Ashe who got his start on the black only tennis courts of Richmond. Looking down Monument Ave, we can see a time line of over 150 years and we can also see how we have progressed and how standards and the way of life of over those 150 years ago are not the same. How people and a country’s morals and values change and how we can learn from this change. If not for what happened during the Civil War and all those who gave their lives to abolish slavery and preserve the Union, where would we be today? I don’t think anyone would have imagined ever seeing a monument to an African American on this road.  That is how we learn. If we cover up these monuments or tear them down how are we to remember and learn?

Our history is what it is, some can and will embellish it, but history cannot be blacked out, white washed or changed. Once we realize this and start learning from it, we will make ourselves and our lives better and that gives me that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…Rosy Glow!