By

Andrew DeMarco

Two years ago, when I wrote my last Christmas Rosy Glow, I mentioned that I had the best gift anyone could ask for and that was the gift of nothing, the gift of not needing anything. Back then there were Covid lock downs and the world in general seemed to be spinning out of control. Sadly, this year, other than no lock downs it seems that things haven’t changed much and some would say that things have gotten worse, which got me thinking. Not what do I want for Christmas, but rather what do we all need for Christmas this year? After some thought, I realized that we all could be a little more caring and probably better listeners. Maybe we can all learn to compromise and not be so set in our ways, and maybe this can lead to better things and times for all. Maybe that is what I want for Christmas, but how can we accomplish this? Then I came across this quote by the Dalai Lama:

“A simple smile. That’s the start of opening your heart and being compassionate to others.”

Then it hit me! In today’s world with all the insanity going on maybe we really don’t smile enough. Think about how many times while driving, think of all the moments we had that bit of road rage. Think about all our leaders who just can’t seem to get along or agree on anything and actually make what seems like bad times even worse. Maybe we all need to show a little more caring and compassion and maybe just maybe it starts with that smile. What better time of the year to give this a try than the Holiday Season. No matter what holiday you celebrate, it should be easy to offer one and all that simple smile. If we can’t do it during the holiday season, what does that say about us as human beings?  That is the answer to what I want for Christmas this year. A simple smile that would hopefully lead to, as the Dalai Lama so wisely put it, opening our hearts and compassion for others and thereby make things better.

So, as we gather with family and friends this holiday season, I am sure smiles as well as love and caring will abound, maybe we can pass this along to others. Maybe we should all make an attempt to make that gift of a simple smile a regular thing and that gift can give us all that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow!

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Since I can’t give you all a smile maybe these can provide you with one. While writing this Rosy Glow I thought about an old commercial jingle and came up with these. Hopefully it brings you that smile.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Mean+Joe+Green&docid=608052986079284267&mid=72E55CC1126F941014CC72E55CC1126F941014CC&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?&q=diet+coke+commercial+with+troy+polamalu&view=detail&mid=47B213CFBF795914734A47B213CFBF795914734A&FORM=VIRE&ajaxhist=0&rvsmid=58E56649F32E229C7B1458E56649F32E229C7B14&form=VDQVAP

By

Andrew DeMarco

In some earlier Rosy Glows, I have written about my “niece” Michele “Belle” Koclanes and her exploits as a basketball player and coach. A few weeks ago, I was honored to be invited to her induction ceremony into the University of Richmond Athletic Hall of Fame for basketball, all 5’2” of her. I would like to congratulate her and the four other inductees as well as a Team of Distinction which was the 2002 Women’s Soccer Team. Michele, as I had expected, hit one from downtown with her acceptance speech.

What I noticed during all the acceptance speeches were two common themes, teammates and family. All the inductees spoke of how their teammates made them better and helped them to achieve their goals, but it was the family that really got them over the top.

Michele’s speech got me thinking that she has been a member of a HOF long before that night which I’ll call a FHOF (Family Hall of Fame). Let’s start with her parents Dean and Olympia and Michele honoring them in her speech said it all. Other Hall of Famers include her oldest sister Nicole and her husband Jared and their two children, her younger sister Alexandra (Ali), her husband Daniel and their three children and her youngest sister Kristen, her husband Vincent and their three children, all hall of famers. Oh, and one cannot forget the youngest of this crew, her brother Christopher who got a special shout out from Michele. I also cannot forget some of the newest members of this HOF, Michele’s wife Jill and their two daughters. This is truly a team of distinction therefore a FHOF member.

I came to a few realizations after the ceremony that night and talking with the other inductees that no matter how you cut it, family is the foundation of all we do. I also realized that I am a member of a family of distinction, a Hall of Fame Family. I look at all the accomplishments of my cousins and now their children and in some cases their grandchildren. I see what my niece has accomplished and I have no doubt that we all are members of the FHOF.

Another realization was that I could take it even further. Most of my friends and acquaintances are members of families that are teams of distinctions and by extension Family Hall of Fame members. For example, families such as the Ruggieros, Childs, Monaghans, McLaughlins, Cherricos and Floridas just to name a few all fit into this category. I could go on, but the list would be far too long for the space allotted for this Glow.

So, I arrived at my final realization and that was that as crazy as this world might seem at this time, that as long as we keep producing families of distinction worthy of the Family Hall of Fame membership, we will be fine. It may take some time, but we will get there. Knowing this gives me that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow!

To all the Hall of Fame Families out there,

Happy Thanksgiving!

By

Andrew DeMarco

Photo by: Vanassa Fata Kraut

About 10 years ago, I wrote a Rosy Glow for the Christmas Holidays about how the family grows and how it is both a good thing and yet in some ways a bad. It is a good thing in that the family is getting larger and that traditions will continue.  The bad thing is that the relationships we might have had with cousins when we were younger are different as their priorities change with their own families.  The link to that Glow is below:

Rosy Glow – Holidays and Family

This became quite apparent a few weekends back when the family got together for what was a very different kind of reunion. My Cousin Robert, who passed away in 2009, his daughters were coming in from Arizona to visit his sister, their Aunt Patricia, who thought it would be a good way to get the family together. Now you have to understand Robert was about 7 years older than I am and he moved from New York to Oklahoma and then to Arizona. During that time and as his family grew, I would see less and less of him let alone see his children. As a matter of fact, of his three daughters the only one I ever saw was his eldest daughter Vanessa, (sorry Vanessa), who was all of about 3 years old at the time. But as always, I digress. When I finally got to meet Vanessa, Gina and Emily, I was not really surprised that these beautiful women had the same warmth and personality as their father and were eager to learn about me and my wife as I was to learn about them, after all it was in their blood and we are family.

But in addition to meeting and spending time with Robert’s 3 children, that day provided me the additional bonus of catching up with my Cousin Pat’s children, Michael and his wife Jill, and Jessica and her husband Jason as well as their children. I also got to spend time with my Cousin Diana’s son Chris and his wife Nicole who is expecting which is further proof that the family continues to grow. (Good Luck Nicole and Chris.)

The day itself reminded me of the gatherings that we older cousins shared when we were younger. Plenty of good food and drink and a lot of love and appreciation for one another. The only thing missing were Cousins Robert, Laura and Louis but be assured that they were with us and always will be.

Finally, after meeting three great women and seeing the next generations, I realized that although the DNA strands may be a little frayed and the blood may be a bit thinner one thing was certain it is the same DNA and blood that is in each one of us who was there and that we are family and traditions will continue and new traditions will be established as the family will continue to grow and get stronger and better. This gives me that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow!

By

Andrew DeMarco

Last weekend, I took part in my 50^th reunion of the Class of 1972 from Cardinal Hayes High School. The festivities began on Friday when a group of us recreated part of our daily commute and met at 125^th Street and took the #4 Train uptown to 149^th St. and the Grand Concourse. From there we made the walk up to Hayes or as some of us called it “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” affectionately named after Fr. Thomas McCormack who was the Dean of Discipline. During that brief walk, we all were amazed how that section of the Grand Concourse had changed that is everything except the Post Office. Once at Hayes, we attended a Mass then had Brunch and a tour of the school. The school had changed quite a bit, yet to us it really hadn’t changed at all.  We all did a lot of reminiscing and told many war stories but what I found truly amazing is that it was like we all had seen one another just the other day.  

The following day we met at St. Patrick’s Cathedral for the commencement ceremonies for the Class of 2022. After the Class was seated, the Alumni from ’52, ’62,’72 and ’97 were introduced. The warm reception and thunderous ovation we received as we walked down that center aisle from the students, parents and friends filled us all with great pride and brought a smile to all our faces. After the commencement, we gathered at Rosy O’Grady’s where the stories stared flying all over again. The tales told made all the years just melt away and it was like those 50 years had never happened. But just like that, in an instant, our time together was over, and we all agreed to get together again for the golf outing in September.

It was on the train ride home with my wife and after talking about the great time I had all weekend, I had a flash back. I flashed back to about 10 years after graduation. I along with many of my classmates received word that one our own, Marty O’Hanlon, had passed away while on a business trip. This hit us all very hard since he was probably the first in our class to leave us. What I do remember was that at his wake, Hayes was fully represented. I also remember while offering my condolences to Marty’s mom, Mrs. O’Hanlon, who was a very strong woman just having lost her son and her husband just a few years earlier, put her arm around me and began pointing around the room at all the Hayesmen that were there. She said, “Andy look around do you see all these guys from school here, these are your friends and always will be. You may not see them every day, some you might see once in awhile, some you will see years from now and some you may never see again, but remember they are your friends.”  She went on to say, “Those friendships you made at Hayes will be some of the strongest and best friendships you will ever have.” Well Mrs. O’Hanlon all I can say is that you were prophetic.

I don’t know what it is but I guess it is a testament to the discipline, education and sense of family that was instilled in us at Cardinal Hayes, that those friendships have endured and time cannot ever take them away. So to all my fellow classmates it was great seeing you all again and know that our time together as brief as it was has only steeled my resolve to stay in better touch with all of you and that has filled me with that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that….Rosy Glow!

Up Hayes!

P.S. I would like to thank the administration and faculty of Hayes along with the alumni who worked on this event for making our Golden Jubilee a memorable one.

By Andrew DeMarco

Recently, my cousin Louis Fata passed away and I would like to tell everyone a bit about him. Louis was what I would affectionately call a character and a good one. He led, what many would call, a roller coaster life filled with more ups and downs than most people could handle, but Louis did.

Louis settled down and married a beautiful woman named Carol and had a son Louis Jr. He was leading the life most people would envy but Louis like all of us was not perfect. He let some of his weaknesses and demons come out and get the best of him. It cost him his marriage and I must admit I lost touch with him during this dark period. I will always wonder if I could have helped him during his dark days. But Louis being who he was overcame his demons and got his life back on track. He found himself again, started a new career and became a store manager at Caldor’s. Putting his past behind him, he was back to being the Louis which I remembered.

Because of this strength Louis was a hero not only to me but was also a real-life hero, not just once but on two separate occasions. The first was while he was in High School when he witnessed an older woman being mugged. Louis proceeded to chase her attacker through the snow and according to him losing his shoes in the pursuit. He caught the attacker who was arrested and for this act he received a Citation from the NYPD. The second time happened after his comeback which I previously mentioned. While working at a Caldor’s in Queens, a group came in after closing to rob the store of the day’s proceeds. When one of the thieves tried to sexually assault one of the female employees, Louis stepped in and was beaten to within an inch of death by these cowards. He had to learn how to walk again, and his motor skills would never be the same and for the rest of his life lived in constant pain. Through all of this he managed to keep his spirits up and still strove to live life to the fullest or as he would say “La Dolce Vita”

The key to Louis’ life and probably the source of his strength besides his family were his lifelong friendships, which was very much apparent at his memorial. We all know the old saying you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. Louis got stuck with me because I am family, but he chose very wisely as far as friends were concerned. At his memorial, there were a lot of friends even some who I remembered from our childhood days together. There was Danny Caruso, Eddie and Andy Polchinski, Marty Capuano, Steve Mioto and Bob and Dave Santini and many many more. These were friends from his old neighborhood and some going back to his Grammar School days. I learned that they were with him during his crazy days and during his tough times. I found this amazing since I can think of only about 2 of my childhood friends that I am still in touch with. This brings me to the best unspoken line in any movie it happens when Clarence the Guardian Angel leaves a copy of Tom Sawyer for George Bailey with the inscription, “No man is a failure who has friends”. Louis fit this bill by overcoming all his trials and tribulations due to his own strength and with the help of all his friends, he was far from a failure he was a wonderful success.

As I mentioned earlier, Louis was family so he got stuck with me and I with him. I can only hope he would have chosen me as well as he chose his friends if he had to. I know that I had it better than his friends, because he was family and I would not have changed that for anything. I also know that whenever I think of Louis, which will be often, since I do have a lot of great memories of him, it will give me the feeling that Cousin Bob would call that….Rosy Glow!