Rosy Glow – Longevity

By

Bob La Torre

 

My good friend the minister recently returned from a trip to Africa and reported that, although only in his early 50s, he was considered an old man by his hosts. What startled his African friends even more was his report that both of his parents still lived. Their reaction was that must be astoundingly old.

Longevity is one of those things we tend to take for granted in America today. In our county alone, which is a popular retirement locale, there are more than 100,000 retired people – about one-third of the population. What is more many of them came here after retirement (age 65), more than 20 years ago.

I love it when I speak at one of the retirement clubs and they announce birthdays. They begin with the 90 year-old celebrants and com up to the bids of 60 years of age or less. Living long is a way of life for us. Many people spend most of their time working for 25 years, while planning for all of the things they will do in retirement.

A look at our obituary pages shows that few people under 60 years of age die in our area. None of this is true in most places outside of the United States. So it is no wonder that the African host of my friend were so impressed with his age. We do live longer and what is more we live more rewarding and productive lives in old age that ever in the history of the human race.

In the natural state man was lucky to have a lifespan much past40 years of age. Men and women who lived until the age of 50 were considered ancient. What confuses us about age is that when we see photographs of “old people” in other cultures, they look much older than they really are.

A combination of good diet, good medical care, and a better lifestyle has allowed us to not only live longer, but look younger.

As a grandparent, I am sometimes amused by commercials that attempt to depict a grandchild with a grandparent. The people, costumes, and lifestyles are more like those of my grandparents and certainly not like ours.

One of the reasons for this inconsistency is that grandma is far more likely to be found today on the tennis court than in the kitchen.

Those who long for the good old days either have short memories or are very young. All but one of my grandparents were dead before I was born. And that was more the norm at the time.

The Lesson for those of us who are reaching old age is that instead of complaining about a little bit of arthritis or lack of stamina, we should be tickled that we will be around to have these “old age” complaints. After 50 years, these are no natural warranties on our bodies. Each year of the good life is more a product of science and technology than of nature.

As far as the condition of these old skin and bones, well that really is up to the individual I have observed men and women in their 60s who are in excellent physical shape, but that too dies not happen naturally. It takes a lot of hard work, but we that option –an option not open to very many people on the planet.

Next time you find yourself complaining about some aches and pains when you first wake up, remember what George Burns said when he was asked how it felt to wake up at 90: “Considering the alternative, it feels quite good.”

That of course is the key to optimism…. No matter how bad things may seem…..considering the alternative…..this is better. At any age just waking up should start our day with that feeling-you know the one. I like to call it…a rosy glow.

By

Robert La Torre

Many years ago I asked a friend advice about what direction I should take in life. My problem was that I really enjoyed things in life that cost a lot of money, but the things I enjoyed doing most did not pay very well.

“How should I resolve this conflict,” I asked?

His answer was simple: “Do the things which you like to do. There will always be enough money for the things you really want.”

At the time the advice seemed to simplistic. Today, all these years later, it makes more sense that any advice I have ever received. That’s why I share it so often with as many young people as I can.

The principle behind my friend’s philosophy is simple. If you are working at something you like, it makes you very happy. That means that each day is filled with the pleasure that you enjoy. The result is that you look for very few things that your means do not provide for. There is usually not enough money for all the things you would like, but at the same time your reach for much less. The reason you look for less is that your life is fulfilled each day with the work you do. If your employment does not seem to be enough, there are thousands of part-time things to do. Some of these may pay a little extra and some may be volunteer work. In any case you become even more fulfilled.

If, on the other hand, you select to do a job you do not really like, you may create a trap for yourself that will bring nothing but unhappiness. This is how it happens. Doing work you do not like or even hate brings about a lot of frustration. To ease that frustration you begin to buy things that appear to ease the frustration. If you hate your job you may buy a big house. The house becomes your substitute for satisfaction in your job. But supporting the house requires even more money, which forces you to work harder and longer at something you do not enjoy. What is more certain, resentment grow towards your work because you need to do it to support the house and it becomes a “catch 22.”

I have observed men and women caught in this trap all of my life. For a time I was in it myself. There are a number of signs that someone is in the trap.

One of them is that they are obsessed with the cost of things. Every conversation about anything begins with “I paid X dollars for that.” The second is that the things dominate their lives. People in the trap seldom talk about ideas. They most often speak of things. Asked about a trip they will discuss how much it cost and what accommodations they had, seldom about what they saw or how much they enjoyed the visit or even the people they met.

Another clue to people in the trap is the way they speak about their work. Seldom will they speak of accomplishments, except for how much more money it made them.

People in the trap, especially as they grow older, talk about retirement-how long till they retire, what their pension will be, and how they hope for the years to go by.

Some years ago I made the decision to get out of the trap. I decided that I would do things I enjoy doing. I would put money way down the list of priorities. One by one I found several jobs, none of which paid a lot of money. Even though the income came nowhere near what I had been making in the trap.

This is what I found. I seldom speak of money, at least my money.  I almost never discuss what I paid for anything. I have few desires for things in general. I often think that I own too many things.

I love to talk about my work and the joy and satisfaction I get from teaching or writing or making movies. I am proud of all the plaques and certificates that nearly fill my wall, most of them earned for volunteer efforts. I find my days filled with satisfaction.

The satisfaction in what I am doing reduces my desire to own things. I have a car, a modest one: I have a boat, a small one: I have a wonderful home, a comfortable one. I take my life one day at a time. I do not rush it. I enjoy each season. I take time to observe and enjoy my relationship with all of the people around me – my family, my friends, and the strangers I meet.

Are there things I would like to do? I would like to travel more and I am convinced that I will in time.

Do I want to retire? If I did I would have to stop doing all these things that I enjoy.

Most of all I have found that the things I want are pretty much within my reach. Most important of all, most of my days end with the feeling of being tired and happy. In addition I find that my days begin with a feeling that I have come to call ….a rosy glow.

I will be posting former columns by Bob LaTorre which give one a Rosy Glow. Although it has been almost 30 years since Bob wrote these columns they are really timeless. I will then add my own in the hope that I can too give you that Rosy Glow which Bob was so capable of doing.