By

Andrew DeMarco

N.B.  I had been saving this Rosy Glow for another time, but with the passing of Nelson Mandela, I feel that now is a good time to discuss impacting lives. So as you read this please add Nelson Mandela to the grand scale list

 

While watching the ceremonies on Mariano Rivera Day, The Yankees in addition to retiring Mariano’s number 42, which is retired throughout baseball, rededicated Jackie Robinson’s “42”.  It was a simple plaque with his number but the quotation spoke volumes.  “A life is not important except for the impact is has on other lives.”

This is so true on many levels. Some people impact lives on a grand scale while others do it a bit at a time. People like Jackie Robinson, Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks, were real game changers in the way they impacted lives. A more recent game changer is Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani teen who stood up to the Taliban by attending school and was shot for her defiance. She has become a hero for girls around the world and should have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.  Their actions and bravery changed the way a nation and a world think and affected thousands of lives and still do to this day.  These people impacted lives not only with their bravery in having to endure all that was thrown at them but also through their sheer determination to be that game changer the ones who would truly make a difference.

Still there are others who impact lives in a negative way, the 9/11 hijackers and the Newtown, CT Sandy Hook School shooter Adam Lanza come to mind. They by their cowardice impacted many lives in a negative way and do not deserve any attention.

Not all of us can impact lives in the way that Robinson, King, Parks and Malala have, so how do we make that difference?  This all came to me while attending a family gathering celebrating Cousin Richard’s PhD.  I learned that he had dedicated his dissertation to his cousin Mary Rose who had passed away a few years earlier. It seems that Mary Rose was a huge supporter of Rich’s efforts and was a great inspiration for him. I also thought of Rich’s daughter Meredith and Cousin Krissy who work for non-profit organizations and how their work impacts others on a daily basis.

Still another example is my sister who has been teaching for almost 35 years, and in those 35 years just think of the number of students that have passed through her classrooms and the number of lives she has impacted. I am sure that the majority of her students would say she influenced them in a positive way and I have seen this when we run into some of her former students. My late Aunt Anna, a former school teacher, who taught for many years, impacted all those who passed her way and in some way might have influenced the life of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice who she taught early on.

We can begin impacting lives at any age, and my Cousin Marian’s grandson Luke is a perfect example. Luke at very young age has some major health issues and yet he is impacting many of us. It is amazing to see how Little Luke has brought a family, friends and a community together. We all have seen and heard stories on how whole communities pull together to help a child in need like Luke, and this is proof that it doesn’t matter how old you are to impact the lives of others.

So how do people like me who do not teach or work for non-profit organizations come close to impacting lives on a large or grand scale? Well it is simple and it came to me while attending my friends Dean and Olympia’s daughter’s wedding, “Friendship”. While at the reception I realized that this was our third trip down the aisle with this family so to speak and looking around the room I realized how our friendships impacted our lives. I felt that I must have impacted their kids’ lives and I know this because I was honored by being at their weddings. Their families were like my family, the bride Kristen even called my mother Grandma Angie and I realized that other friends in that room were also important to my wife and I. So I realized that I would continue to impact lives, by just being who I am and I hope you can learn something from me and who will support you when needed. Though not on the scale of others, by continuing to nurture my present and future friendships is the easiest way for me to impact lives.

So go out and make friends, mend fences with those that you may have had a falling out with and impact some lives. One thing is for certain, it is easy to make friends, and if in some way you make a difference in their lives in a positive way you have succeeded in impacting lives in a way Jackie Robinson and the others would have approved of. If we all can make an impact by just making friends we as a group can achieve that larger and grand scale and that feeling of accomplishment and friendship will fill you with that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow.

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

On a recent trip to Virginia my wife and I decided to stop on the way home in Washington D.C. We had been to D.C many times but we felt we needed to make this stop especially since the government shutdown had just ended. The “District” as it is referred to is an incredible place in that it was the first city built to be a nation’s capital and quite ironically with all the nonsense going on in Washington the product of a compromise. To state it simply Alexander Hamilton’s supporters who consisted of bankers, financiers and merchants wanted the capital based in the northeast while Thomas Jefferson and his agricultural supporters preferred the south. Due to a detailed compromise which at the time benefited both sides the capital was carved out of both the north and south and the District was established.

This is where George Washington and Pierre L’Enfant built their city with the intent to “awe and inspire” and thus the capital building was built on the highest point to look out onto the country. But I digress and let me get to the real point of this Rosy Glow. My wife and I arrived on the National Mall via the Metro just in between the Capital and Washington Monument and since it was a beautiful fall day we decided to walk down the Mall to the Martin Luther King Memorial, since it was one memorial we had not yet seen. We started out on Constitution Ave, so we can get a view of the White House on the way, and then cut across to the World War II memorial.

We both had been to the World War II memorial before and although grand, it did not really awe and inspire us in the way the Vietnam or Korean War memorials  had. But this time was different and at first my wife and I could not tell why. Suddenly it came to us the memorial was filled with members of the “Greatest Generation.”  It seems that busloads of veteran’s from 4 states (Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina and Pennsylvania) were taking in their memorial. Many of these vets were in wheelchairs, had walkers and canes and were accompanied by their family members. They surrounded the fountain which is at the center of the memorial. This got me thinking about my father and my uncles who were members of this greatest generation and I have to admit I got “misty.” However the best was yet to come.

Suddenly in the background you could hear the roar of motorcycles and the distinct sound of Harley’s. Next thing you know Vietnam vets are pouring in through the Pacific and Atlantic Archway’s of the memorial carrying flags and lining up in front of the old-timers and saluted them, in what was to me the ultimate sign of respect. They then mingled and shook hands and hugged and at that point even my wife was losing it. When they were done it was amazing to watch the other visitors to the memorial, going up to these veterans and asking questions about their service and thanking them for their sacrifices.

Now remember this was just two days after the shutdown ended and maybe there is a lesson that those 535 members who work in that building that George Washington wanted them to be inspired by can learn from these vets. If those “535” had seen what my wife and I saw maybe they would be inspired to keep our memorials open during a future shutdown and to sacrifice their pay to do so, a minor sacrifice compared to those made by our veterans. Maybe they will be inspired to compromise, especially since they work in a city that was built due to a compromise. Maybe they would be awed by the camaraderie of men from different eras who share a common bond of true dedication and sacrifice to their country and inspire and respect one another and learn to work together for the benefit of everyone. Maybe they would learn that because of these vets they were given the privilege of serving “We the People.”

My wife and I did make it to the Martin Luther King Memorial and that will provide me with another Rosy Glow that I hope will awe and inspire.  In the meantime let me wish a Happy Veteran’s Day to Carmine Capozzola, Robert Capozzola, Chris Walsh, Joe Mariniello, Jim Fogarty, David D’Andrea,  Pete Ballo, Vincent Cartelli, Vincent O’Connell and anyone I know that I might have missed, and to all you veteran’s out there, enjoy your day. Know this, that after seeing what we saw that day at the World War II Memorial, George and Pierre would be proud because their vision for their city, our city and country did indeed awe and inspire and also gave me and my wife that feeling that Cousin Bob (another veteran) would call that …. Rosy Glow.

 

By

Bob LaTorre

            N.B. This is another Rosy Glow by Cousin Bob written over 25 years ago.

Nature has a way of doing strange things to us as we grow older. We thicken a bit around the middle, get a bit shorter of breath, and run out of energy earlier in the day.

Some of us lose all of our hair, while others turn prematurely gray. (It is always premature graying because none of us are ready for it.)

I happen to be one of those who suffers from hair loss. But in my case it is of the cruelest kind. At the back of my head the hair the hair remains thick and full. A bit flecked with gray perhaps but, there is no skin showing anywhere. In the front however I am in a race with time. Like the “Picture of Dorian Gray” my hair recedes almost as fast as I age. I am left to speculate whether I will run out of years or hair first.

I don’t dwell on the problem often. Except when someone takes a photograph of me from a high angle, which in my case is just about every time. However when I was getting my hair cut the other day, my young hair dresser remarked that the hair at the back of my head was getting very thick. “Too bad,” she remarked, “That we could not move some of it to the front of your head.” Ah!, What a profound bit of philosophy was summed up in those few words. Too bad we can’t move some of it to the front.

But that is precisely what we need to do with all of our short comings. How many times have we spoken the wrong words at the wrong moment and wished that we could move the next moment back in time, kind of like moving the hair to the front of our heads.

Then there are the decisions we have made which later wisdom proved incorrect, how we wish we could change positions on those matters?

And so it goes all through life we find that we are wishing for the impossible. It I were balding in the back and not in the front I could at least wear a hat to cover my baldness. In life I could have covered my mistakes if they had been made in a different way.

There are people who do try to effect those changes. How many times have you seen men who comb the hair from the back of their head to the front in an unsuccessful attempt to cover the balding? It is never very effective. The same holds true when we attempt to make up for some error in the social graces. How do you fill in the conversation when a group has been speaking in uncomplimentary terms about someone and unexpectedly that person enters the room? The right words are about as hard to come by as moving our hair to the front of our heads. More than anything, growing up, maturing is a matter of learning to find our strength and learning to live with our weaknesses. It is a long slow process and that is why it takes most of us so long. Sadly some of us never really make it to maturity. We see the result of that every day. The adult-children who must have bigger and more expensive toys, and the professional athletes whose behavior is often worse than a child.

Wife abusers who because of their immaturity never learned in Kindergarten not to hit people.

I guess nature gave me a break after all. I need only to look into the mirror to be reminded of my age, those bald spots are like beacons pointing the way to maturity.

Why when summer comes and I spend some time in the sun all of that skin will turn bright red and I will be given a different kind of….Rosy Glow.

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

On a recent visit to the doctor I was reminded of a word that as we get older seems to become more prevalent in our lives, moderation. Did you ever notice that things we used to do when we were younger change as we get older and we are now told to do in moderation? Regarding ones diet, the doctor reminds us not to have that extra cocktail, that nice piece of steak, or that extra sweet dessert, and then says, “Remember, everything in moderation.”  I have to admit that as I get older moderation seems to be working for me. I would like that extra martini before a nice dinner, but I pass and I really do not miss it as much as I thought I would. However, I really do miss having that extra steak and dessert but by cutting back just a bit, moderation seems to be working in keeping me healthier.

Moderation can be seen in other ways. For instance did you ever notice that as you get older you don’t drive as fast as you once did or you try to get your expenses and spending under control? These are forms of moderation.

So with Election Day coming and all the nonsense going on in Washington, that got me thinking, if moderation works here why can’t it work in politics. Let me be upfront with all of you right now. I am a registered voter but not affiliated with any political party. On some issues I tend to be conservative on others more liberal and at times depending on the issue, a bit libertarian. I watch FOX News, MSNBC, CNN, NBC and CBS network news and read the New York Times, Post and Daily News. I do this to get different slants on the issues and formulate my own opinions.

So with that said, have you ever noticed that there is really no moderation in politics? Well at least according to the media, and as I mentioned I look at all sides. If you are a Republican you are a right wing “Tea Partier” and if you are a Democrat you are a left wing “Progressive,” all the while the media continues to perpetuate these stereotypes. There is no middle ground and it seems that both parties are inflexible. Why are members of Congress ostracized by the leadership of their parties if they do not walk in lock step with the “party?”  Did you ever notice that you cannot be a Democrat or Republican unless you toe your party line?

Also recent votes on legislation all seem to be right down partisan party lines. Don’t these members of Congress have minds of their own or know how to truly represent their constituents? One side blames the other, log jams occur and nothing gets accomplished. Politics is the game of, negotiation, the power of persuasion and compromise but with the mentality of our politicians, all of this is literally impossible. Hey guys both sides are at fault and there is a simple way to resolve this, it is called moderation!

Almost 220 years ago George Washington recognized that political parties if not moderated can be a danger to the future of the country and went into great detail of this danger in his Farewell Address to the nation. Below is just one reference from his address with the It being political parties.

“It serves always to distract the Public Councils, and enfeeble the Public Administration. It agitates the Community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection.”

George Washington’s  Farewell Address 1796

I am not quite sure about the riot and insurrection part, but looking at today’s political squabbles George was pretty much right on with his other observations. Washington realized that moderation and controlling political parties would be necessary or the country would be constantly mired in feuds and disagreements with nothing getting accomplished. The animosity which he mentioned is so evident in today’s politics. Even then moderation was the key and it has been proven that when negotiations, persuasion and compromise are done properly, moderation is usually the result, and that equals a healthy government and progress.

So maybe all our politicians should visit their doctors and hear that one word that should become their mantra “moderation.”  If moderation were practiced in Washington maybe all the blame, name calling, animosity and lack of progress would be a thing of the past. I know moderation has made me healthier and happier and given me a new rosier outlook on life, and if it can work for me who knows what it might do for Washington. Maybe just maybe by making progress and being successful through moderation it just might give that dysfunctional crew in Washington that feeling that they are all missing, the one that Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow.

 

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

Does time really fly?  I was reminded of this earlier in the year when the summer had barely begun. It was the Fourth of July Holiday and all I kept hearing was how the summer was almost over. With the end of summer on September 22^nd,  I would like to remind everyone that it was not almost over on July 4^th  nor did it end on Labor Day weekend which is exactly 3 weeks earlier than the official end of summer. This also got me thinking of an old high school buddy of mine, Victor Fontana who had an interesting take on time.

Victor used to tell a story about one of his first job interviews after college and the interviewer asking him, “Do you mind working long hours?”  Victor’s reply was that the interviewer was asking a trick question and he was not going to fall for it. The interviewer gave him a quizzical look and Victor then explained. “There is no such thing as long hours, you see every hour has only 60 minutes.” He then went on with his recitation, every minute is 60 seconds, there are 60 minutes in and hour only 24 hours in a day and so on, except for  leap year which is longer. The reverse is also true we cannot make the hours shorter by taking away minutes and you cannot make any other unit of time longer or shorter. If is so true so why do we “rush” time and make it seem like it is flying?

There are a lot of factors that can give the appearance that time is going faster than it possibly can. Maybe we can blame advertising. After all when you look at ads lately they usually are months in advance of the holiday or occasion. For instance “Back to School” promotions start in July, Halloween in August and Christmas begins in October in stores just to name a few.( Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas but there is nothing more annoying than hearing Christmas Carols in stores in October.)  Would this not give the appearance that time is going by quickly?  To me, this “Christmas Creep” as it is called ruins the holiday spirit in that we seem to have to maintain that spirit for months rather than a few weeks. This, to dupe the consumer, to get them to spend earlier and more often, all in the name of making more money. The reality is, when summer ends we are still 94 days away from Christmas.

Others would say that we live in a much faster paced world and this is probably very true. With 24 hour news cycles, and communications being almost instantaneous, with Tweeting, texting and e-mail all this would also give one the appearance of time flying.

But who makes it a faster paced world? We do. Do we really have to reply to that text message usually was one is walking down the street as soon as we get it? Absolutely not!  In most cases we should take a step back before replying to e-mails or texts. How many times do you reply immediately and then regret something that was or wasn’t in that text or e-mail. Or better yet how many times have we seen someone walking into a pole or other obstacle while texting? Is it really that important? Although it would be difficult maybe we should try to ignore all the ads and store decorations that make it seem like time is flying.

No one can give us more time, but people can sure help us waste the time we have and make it seem like it is going by too fast. We need watch the news when we want to, and do that holiday shopping at our leisure. Maybe we can put down that smartphone and not answer that text right away. They say as you get older time goes more quickly but how can it when Victor was absolutely correct that hour still has 60 minutes no fewer.

You see I have learned to take time not necessarily at a more leisurely pace but as it was meant to be, 60 minutes for every hour and 24 hours in the day. I do not shorten the minutes or days. For instance this Rosy Glow was originally thought of back in July when I first heard that remark that summer was over. But I would not let summer end then or even now.  So I took all the time I could and I finally got around to finishing this Glow just in time for the official end of summer. Now I can really take a look back and realize that summer did not fly by, but it was the same 93 days it always is.

So “Tempus does not Fugit”.  Now I can begin at that same regular 60 minute hour and 24 hour day to look forward to the holidays and in 101days from the end of summer, not before, the New Year and thank my old high school buddy Victor “Cent-anni” Fontana whose nickname means 100 years for his take on time and that fills  me with that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.