By

Bob LaTorre

Here is one of Cousin Bob’s Rosy Glows from 25 years ago.

On many occasions in this column and in my public speaking, I have said, “The United States of America is the freest nation in the world. Needless to say I am not the only one to have ever uttered those words. But no matter how many times I read them hear them or speak them, I still find that many Americans still doubt the truth of the statement.

To some extent, this attitude on the part of some of us is the result of having been born into and lived with this freedom all of our lives. Sadly, many other Americans simply do not believe it. Their disbelief is to a large extent the result of hearing and seeing the skeptical attitude of members of the media, the entertainment industry, and the educational system.

Each of these institutions is obsessed by what they believe is their divine mission to insure ”Fairness”. Many members of these professions feel that using the superlative in anything, especially when referring to the United States, is somehow unfair.  The argument goes something like this “How can you say that this country is, the greatest, the best, the wealthiest, or the freest? Just look and at his point they describe in detail some failing which has occurred in the nation’s history. How can we be great, look at what we did to the Indians, (excuse me, Native Americans). How can you say that we are the best when the Duchy of Fizlandia has a lower death rate among people over six feet tall? How can you say we are the richest when the per capita income in Saudi Arabia is nearly twice as much as ours? The fact that nobody works in that country, and that the income is from oil, and that the actual distribution of that income is mainly to the sheik and his family, is not important to the fairness group.

How can you say we are the freest nation in the world?

Well let’s take a look at that question. To begin with, consider this fact. Of all the jury trials which take place in the world, ninety percent of them are held here in the good old U.S.A. and that’s a fact, Jack.

But to make the point a bit closer to home consider this, in all of your conversations, reading talk show listening, and in your own remarks about life today isn’t it interesting that the statement which we hear most often is, the police, the judges, the prisons and the entire judicial system is too soft on criminals.

Think about that, in most of the world people are screaming for justice and in this country we are concerned about not dealing harshly enough with robbers, and dope dealers.  In most other countries people seek to insure humane treatment for prisoners and here we are concerned because we are too soft on prisoners.

The truth is that almost all of our current social problems, dope, homeless, single parent homes, school drop-outs, economic under class, teen pregnancy, and unemployment could all be wiped out in thirty days if only we were willing to give up a little freedom for each problem.

Those are precisely the choices which the founding fathers were confronted with. Does anyone seriously believe that the same or similar problems did not exist in colonial times, are we naïve enough to think that somehow Americans in 1776 were some perfect group of people with no thieves, murderers, dope takers, and wife beaters.

Let me assure you that when the Constitution was written and the body of English Common Criminal Law was adopted as our own, the very same problems did indeed exist.

The founders decided in their infinite wisdom, that they were more willing to accept the weaknesses of a free society that the failures of one which was less free. They knew the difference because they had all grown up in tyranny.

When we look around and see some of these problems we should learn to recognize that often they are the direct measure of our personal freedom. To those who still wish for the changes which will bring about greater privilege, I refer you to the words of President Eisenhower who said “People who place privileges above principals, soon lose both.”

There is no doubt that our system, like any system, can be improved. But let’s never forget that it is currently the freest system on earth and when we go to fix it we stand a great risk of changing that too.

Meanwhile, the next time you hear or read that we are the freest people on earth, believe it and let the words fill you with a well-deserved….Rosy Glow.

 

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

With Thanksgiving, the first of the family gatherings for the holidays behind us it is a good time to think of the Christmas Holidays and how family and friends are important in our lives. What immediately comes to mind is that old saying, “you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” This statement is very true! I look back and think of all the friends I have had over the years from my childhood to those I have now and although I may not see those old friends any longer, they were at the time a part of my life and did figure into my development as a person. Same is true for my friends now. They help me to continue to grow as a person and we are always there for one another. The same is true for family and proof of this influence is this column which was inspired by a family member.

Family on the other hand is a bit different. They are a constant and they do not come and go and change as friends do. They are always there through good or bad, and I always prefer to think of the good. I think back to the holidays when I was growing up and I would spend Christmas Eve with my DeMarco cousins and Christmas Day with the Capozzola cousins. Growing up on Ellis Ave., I had the added benefit of mingling with the Sudano cousins as well as my Aunt Anna’s clan, the Derricos. You might say I had the superfecta when it came to the holidays.  What really sticks out in my mind is how all of us enjoyed one another’s company. I can see my Grandfather Capozzola sitting in his rocker and watching all of the cousins falling over one another either playing or ripping open presents. I often wondered what was going through his mind at that time which was probably, “Am I really responsible for all of this?”  Most of all we enjoyed the good food, which seemed endless, one of the great benefits of being Italian. It didn’t matter what was going on in the world because we were with one another and nothing could bother or hurt this family. The Kennedys or Rockefellers had nothing on us except maybe a bit more money which only proves that money cannot buy happiness.

What does happen to the family is that it grows and as cousins have children and their children have children, the clan just gets bigger. The unfortunate thing about this is that our lives and priorities change. As much as I would like to see my cousins more often, I understand that they have their own families now and this is part of the circle growing, but one thing for certain is that they are still my aunts, uncles, cousins, 2^nd cousins, etc.

Like most families there will be arguments, disagreements, and disputes along with a certain amount of dysfunction and it is all due to the fact that we are human. Sometimes these disputes can cause problems within a family and cause bad feelings which sometimes are noticeable when together. Even though families do grow apart and there are disputes, the one thing I have noticed is that we always find a way to come together for one another. I know that in my case they have always been there for me.

The rare times we are all together which usually as they say are at weddings and funerals, the one thing I have noticed is that the bond that is family comes through. Whether celebrating a happy event or gathering to mourn the loss of a family member, during good times and especially bad, what I have come to learn is that it is the family that made me what I am today and it is the family that makes me and all of us strong. “Family Strong!”

Which takes me back to the not being able to pick your relatives, I like Bishop Desmond Tutu’s take on this. I am not a very religious person, but I think the good Bishop was right on when he said, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”

So with the Christmas Holiday here, let’s all take a step back and think of the family. If there are any small disputes, disagreements and dysfunctions, what better time of the year to mend some fences than the holidays, as this will only make the family stronger.  While we open up our presents and gather together for that great meal, take a good look at one another and realize that each of us is the best gift that we have and that Bishop Tutu was right.

Let’s make “Family Strong” our motto not just for the holidays but for every day. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends and family and may this special gift of family along with some holiday cheer give us that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow.

 MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

By

Andrew DeMarco

 

While planning our October trip which would include a visit to Uncle Cappy, my wife suggested I contact an old classmate. So after numerous emails went unanswered, she then suggested I make a phone call. My thoughts were, I never received a reply to my original emails why would this classmate take my call, but then again nothing ventured nothing gained, so I called The Supreme Court. I explained to the operator that I was an old acquaintance of Justice Sonia Sotomayor and I would be in the Washington area in a few weeks. I was transferred to her chambers and spoke with an intern named Kevin Frazier. He asked me, get this, to email him with all the particulars on how I knew the Justice, and he would make sure she gets it.

Since this is what I had been doing all along I thought, why would she read it now, but again my wife insisted so I did it. I wrote about going to grammar school together and how we kept in touch through high school since she went to Cardinal Spellman with Cousin Marian. I also included a copy of our class picture from Blessed Sacrament. Three hours later we had an appointment to meet with her two weeks later while we were in Washington.

On the day of our appointment we arrived at The Supreme Court and after clearing security and brought to the Marshall’s Office we were greeted by Kevin, who I had spoken with, a nice young man from Oregon who was interning for one year before going back to finish school. He escorted us to Justice Sotomayor’s chambers and gave us a tour. We were introduced to just about everyone on her staff from secretaries, interns and clerks who were all interested in how I knew her and what she was like when she was young. So I gave them all a brief rundown on the Justice and I asked what she was like to work for. Not surprisingly they all spoke glowingly of the Justice.

We were then brought into Justice Sotomayor’s office where she came bounding out from behind her desk and greeted us both with a hug. I then said, “Justice Sotomayor I would like to introduce you to my wife Teresa.” With that I got a look that said are you kidding, not about my wife but calling her Justice Sotomayor and she replied, “Please to meet you and to you I am and always will be Sonia.”  She did go on to say that if we were to ever run into her in her judicial robes she would appreciate it if we called her Justice Sotomayor, to which I replied, “No problem Sonia.”

So we sat and she instantly started to cross examine my wife on how we met, how long we have been together and what she does and what I was like, since it had been some time since we saw one another. This sort of tipped me off that she knew who I was but was not quite sure and was trying to get more info.

She finally turned to me and I said, “So Sonia what have you been up to,” which got a booming laugh. We started to talk about Blessed Sacrament and I could still sense that she was still trying to place me. I then mentioned that Mrs. Capozzola (Aunt Anna) was my aunt and her second grade teacher, and then the spark of recognition struck her. She then said “I remember you! You were the ———-.” (Modesty prevents me from finishing what she said and my wife can fill in the blanks.) This is when the conversation seemed to really take off and the names of old classmates came out and reminiscences started to roll.

Sonia then told me a story about Aunt Anna. It seems that Aunt Anna was her teacher when she was diagnosed with diabetes and she was missing quite a bit of school. She related how Aunt Anna would stay with her after school and help her catch up on things, in particular her confusion with the homonyms there, their, wear, where and others. Sonia remembered how genuinely helpful and concerned she was. When I told this to Uncle Cappy it brought a tear to his eye as well as a huge smile.

In her book, Sonia mentions that it was at Blessed Sacrament where she developed a lust for learning and gold stars. I then mentioned that I too got my share of gold stars and then presented her with a package of them which she placed in a prominent spot on her desk, and said, “To remind me to keep striving for gold stars and maybe during a tough case I will bring them to the bench.”  We talked about her book which she offered to autograph, but I did not have with me. I then explained that anyone could get an autograph copy of her book, which they were selling in the gift shop, but I had something else for her to sign.

Now this is something no 60 year old would have unless he or she has an Italian mother and that is a grammar school report card with all the gold stars. When I asked Sonia for a Supreme Certification of my gold stars, she more than obliged. She got a good laugh and admitted that I got as many as she did and also found it amazing that my mother saved them. The sentiment she wrote is again something that modesty will not allow me to repeat.

Our conversation then moved more to the present and I asked her what it was like being nominated and going through the whole process. Sonia told us that it was all a blur, from her nomination, the Senate hearings up to her swearing in. It did not really hit her until her first day on the bench. There is a tradition started in 1972 at the Supreme Court that new justices on their first day sit in the chair that was used by Justice John Marshall. Although he was not the first Chief Justice, he was probably the most influential in giving the Court its direction in its early years.  It was when Sonia sat in his chair on her first day, that she said it really hit her.

Then just as soon as it began, our time with Sonia was over as her secretary came in to remind her of her appointments. We took a picture together which we were asked not to post on any sites but could send to family and friends and said our goodbyes.

Sonia then arranged for a behind the scenes tour of The Court, where we went to areas that are off limits to regular tours. This tour was given by yet another intern Jordan Rudner from Texas and her knowledge of the court was amazing for such a young person. Afterwards others in the regular tour asked us who we knew to be able to get such a tour.

Before we left we had an opportunity to speak with people who work at the Court from tour guides, guards, gift shop people and others who all spoke so highly of Sonia. They all related how she does so much with school groups and is the most accessible of all the Justices.

As we left, my wife and I took a step back to think about our visit and the one thing that came through is that this woman who I have known since we were 6 years old, is a true role model. Her success and accomplishments while dealing with diabetes her whole life tell an even better story. And although I had not seen her in years her warmth and real sincerity about seeing one another again certainly came through. I know those of you who know me may be questioning my modesty, but this visit brought out that modesty and gave both my wife and I that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that ….. Rosy Glow.

By

Andrew DeMarco

Veteran’s Day, originally known as Armistice Day, was meant as a celebration of the end of World War I the “War to end all Wars.” Unfortunately it did not turn out that way and now has become a celebration in honor of all those who have served our country. There is one thing that I have noticed and that is that the older I get the more I appreciate the sacrifice that all veterans have made. When I was younger it was another day off from school and the true meaning of this day was lost. Even while in college and the Viet Nam war was winding down, I had a lackadaisical attitude towards this day.

I guess my attitude towards Veteran’s Day began to change as my father and uncles, members of the greatest generation, began to get older and I really started to realize the sacrifices that these men made. I also began to listen to my older cousins and friends who served in Viet Nam and although most came back whole, they all seemed to have lost something as a result of their service.

Last year, at this time, while visiting the oldest vet in our family, Uncle Cappy, I wrote about an incident that occurred at the World War II memorial in Washington which moved my wife and I. This year while visiting with Uncle Cappy again, we had the opportunity to visit the new “American Veterans Disabled for Life Memorial.” This memorial is a bit off the beaten path as compared to the other war memorials in D.C. It is located south of the Capital and across the street from the rear of the Washington Botanical Gardens. It is a simple triangle made up of a granite wall with quotes by Presidents Washington and Eisenhower, a reflecting pool of a shooting star with an eternal flame and a wall of frosted glass etched with pictures and quotes from disabled vets and their families.

There were two quotes in particular which I feel are a good beginning for all of us to spread the word to the younger generation so they do not become older before they appreciate our veterans as I do now. The first is a quote by General Washington and makes up part of the granite side of the triangle:

 “Before I conclude the subject of public justice, I cannot omit to mention the obligations this country is under to that meritorious class of veteran, non-commissioned officers and privates who have been discharged for inability…Nothing could be more melancholy and distress sight than to behold those who have shed their blood or lost their limbs in the service of their country.”

The second quote is etched on the glass portion of the memorial and is obviously by one of the spouses of a disabled vet.

“I loved him for who he was in his heart and he still had that. And I loved him for what he had in his mind and he still had that.”

So what are our obligations to our disabled veterans as General Washington mentioned? To care for them in a dignified and efficient manner, to remember and honor them for their sacrifices, not just on Veteran’s Day but always in order to make sure, that younger generations learn earlier in life than I did. And the second quote speaks for itself. We have to remember it was that heart and mind that led these veterans to make the ultimate sacrifice which should never be forgotten no matter what their disabilities are.

Finally to all of my friends and family who have served this great nation let me wish you a very Happy Veteran’s Day! Please know that I appreciate all you have done for us and this great country of ours. That feeling of appreciation is that feeling that Cousin Bob would call that…..Rosy Glow.

By

Andrew DeMarco

Not all of this Rosy Glow are my original thoughts, but sometime others can just say it better.

“Common sense is not so common.”

While this quote can be attributed to many it is most attributed to François-Marie Arouet a French Enlightenment writer, historian and philosopher famous for his wit, his attacks on the established Catholic Church, and his advocacy of freedom of religion, freedom of expression and separation of church and state. He was also better known as Voltaire. Voltaire was born in 1695 and lived until 1778 so imagine what he would have thought about common sense had he been alive today. If he felt that way in the 18^th century, he would probably be spinning in his grave and probably would say that common sense is dead.

To best understand why common sense is not so common, one has to look at the definition of common sense. According to Webster’s Dictionary it is defined as a sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. The key here is “a simple perception” which means that experts or those who think they know better should not get involved. We can see this is in just about every case where common sense seems dead.

What follows is a Eulogy to Common Sense which I came across some time ago. Please take note I have no idea who the author is, but he or she is a far better writer than I am and can express this far better than I could. I also wish I could give the author proper credit for this take on the death of common sense.

Common Sense Eulogy

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: – Knowing when to come in out of the rain; – Why the early bird gets the worm; … – Life isn’t always fair; – And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don’t spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers – I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

I try to keep an open mind and give a middle of the road approach to my ramblings here in Bob’s Rosy Glow, but recent developments in the Middle East and the rise of ISIS leads me to another common sense thought. Should we really be making an issue of how we treat prisoners in our care or should we worry more about how our hostages are being treated?

Many complain about our treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo. Do we waterboard these prisoners? I would say yes we probably do. Do we provide them with 3 meals a day according to their religious beliefs, big screen televisions, and soccer fields? Yes we do. How do our enemies treat hostages and make no mistake they are hostages in that they have not raised arms against anyone. In most cases they are humanitarian workers of reporters just trying to do their jobs.  How are they treated?  With beheadings.

So when faced with some decisions, or looking at situations which could affect us let’s not over complicate them. Let’s take a step back and look at the simple facts and make common sense decisions (no experts needed). I am sure when decisions are made with no fuss, it is probably the right decision, and when it is all said and done it will give us that feeling Cousin Bob would call that….Rosy Glow.